Did you ever climb trees as a kid, feeling excited about the view you’d have from the top? Do you remember that feeling of being halfway up and then suddenly being hit by doubts? You’ve been making great progress but suddenly you’re paralysed, and you feel like you can’t even find the next foothold…..
In that frozen moment of no confidence it’s hard to imagine getting to the top, isn’t it?
Our journey to finding work we love, work that fulfils us and fits in with our family, can be a really tough climb. Moreover, it’s often very specific fears that cause our crisis of confidence.
Women we coach say things like:
* I’m going to fumble in the first interview!
* I’m too scared to ask for the hours and conditions that I want!
* I’m struggling with all the technology!
* Is it even possible to find a rewarding flexible job?
These are real fears getting in the way of your achievement. To succeed we have to push through confidence obstacles.
‘How can I push through a crisis of confidence?’
First of all – Re-ignite your motivation! Remember WHY you started climbing
To fire up your desire for change you can remind yourself of the details of your dreams. What exactly have you been striving for? Think about how dissatisfied you’ve been feeling with your current situation. What are the specific issues you’ve been wanting to fix?
If you’ve already written down your goals this is a great time to review them (or put them into writing now!). As you look at your goals, imagine that you’ve achieved them – you’ve made it! How would that feel?
‘I know why I want to make a change but it’s so hard!’
Consider your choices!
When you’re actually climbing a tree you don’t have a lot of options – it’s really just up or down.
But when we’re striving to change our careers we could also choose to just stop – to decide that it’s all too hard and stick with the status quo.
But think what you’d be missing out on!!
To keep going towards your goals, your mindset becomes central! We need to believe that we’re capable of learning and making the most of opportunities.
What can you learn that will help you make progress?
When we believe that we can develop our skills it feels easier to take a risk and try something new. We’re able to recognise that it’s our effort and our attitude that most influences our success.
Try to remember times in the past when you’ve learnt new skills and coped well with a challenge. Try to recall when you’ve felt most confident in recent times – what were the key factors that helped you in each situation? By noticing what works for us and doing more of it we can create a circle of growing self-belief and confidence
And now it’s time for action!
We encourage you to make a plan and get excited about renewed progress! Here are some questions to get you started:
1. What’s the first thing you need to do?
2. What can you do TODAY that will help make some progress – is there a phone call you’ve been putting off? A LinkedIn profile to start writing?
3. What resources are available to you?
4. Who can you reach out to for help?
Please be assured that you’re not alone! We all get stuck and doubt ourselves. In the FlexCareers community there are fantastic people to reach out to online and as FlexCoaches, we’re available to chat with you about these ideas and help you get moving again!
We’re in your corner and very much want to see you do work that you love!
Kate and Deb
About Debra and Kate
FlexCoaches Debra Close and Kate Wilkie are specialists in Positive Psychology coaching for mums. Whether you are at home raising a family or are balancing a career with family commitments, Debra and Kate can help you to solve challenges you struggle with and answer life’s big questions.
FlexCareers offers a free 30-minute introductory meeting with our FlexCoaches, to help you establish if coaching is right for you and find out more about their practice, Flourishing Mothers.