Society tells women that having a baby won’t change them. It fails big time at preparing women for the greatest challenges many will ever endure – motherhood. Whilst it’s the most incredible experience and I’m so in love with our daughter, I now do seriously wonder why “no-one ever told me” how it is?
I’m not inexperienced either – I’ve been a hands-on step-mum for 7 years, but I never “lived the experience” of becoming a mum.
I’ve worked in ridiculously high stressful roles, but nothing compares to having “clocked onto this job” 15 months ago.
Fast forward past the birth, the sleep deprivation every single day that I never knew existed, the continual sickness (apparently it’s normal for little ones to get sick 12 times a year- that’s once a month!), a severe wrist injury and extreme pain from holding my baby (might need surgery in a few months), the 3 day distress each time a tooth is cut (20 teeth equals 60 days of literally no sleep!), the trials and triumphs with breastfeeding (5+ hours a day early in the journey), the constant mess and unbelievable chaos, and last but not least, the financial stress.
I recognise that everyone’s experience is different, some harder, some easier. I have a very supportive husband, and take my hat off to those women who don’t.
Why do we continue tell women they can have it all?
While my little one, my family and my business is thriving (love #flexibleworking), at times it comes at a cost and I’ve learnt a lot. I want to make a change for all mothers.
What will it take to get society to better value the role of mothers (and fathers for that matter)?
I’m a Certified Becoming US facilitator, and help couples through the 8 steps of parenthood. If you are pregnant (or planning), a new mum or dad, or know someone who is, please share this video link.
I’d love to hear your experience!
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Vanessa is a founding member of the FlexCoach panel of career and executive coaches. You can find her profile here
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